Why Relationships can be your Carpool to Success

Admin Staff Admin Staff on 15:06 06/18/18
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Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right!

– Henry Ford

We were last talking to Chris on having a billionaire mindset. He explains why having the right mindset is the first step to success. If you believe something to be true, it becomes real in your life, whether it’s positive or negative.

Chris continues his discussion on Networking and how to quickly build rapport with others. He gives some practical tips for following up with people you meet and how to strengthen your personal relationships.

In this Interview Learn:

Practical tips for relationship building

How to Instantly build Rapport with “Happy Chemicals”

A simple Follow Up System you can begin to use right away

Why a mentor is your carpool lane to success

I highly encourage people to meet the people that they want to be like.

The concept is simple, but the execution is difficult because it’s all about habit.

Again, if you want to write a book, meet authors and publishers.

How do you meet them?

Go to a seminar an author is giving or one that publishers go to.

Want to be an entrepreneur?

There are tons of resources online. Look at Pat Flynn, Grant Cardone, and Gary Vee. There are so many ways to learn. Go to google or youtube. 

It’s all about the mindset of having real people around you so that you can understand the dynamics of accomplishing what you want.

You need people that can honestly and objectively tell you what to focus on. They can be direct and straightforward with you. Seeing the things that you can’t see, because they’ve already been there.

But when you’re constantly surrounded by people that gossip or are always complaining, focused on the negative aspects of life, they will drag you down. They are putting self imposed handcuffs on their future opportunities with their negative, fixed mindset.

Strive for greatness by working with those around you who are doing big thingsCLICK TO TWEET

What’s the best way to build instant rapport?

If you want to connect with people. Don’t just ask, “Hey what do you do for a living?”

Instead you want to leverage the 4 Happy Chemicals.

You want to ask,

“Who is the one person you most enjoy spending your time with?”

Think about it and answer the question.

“I like hanging out with my friends.”

“Pick one person, what’s his name?”

“I like to spend time with John.”

“What do you guys usually do when you hang out? What’s your favorite thing to do with them?”

“Playing chess.”

When you talk to somebody like this, you’re automatically putting them in a good mood. They’ll be smiling as they think of fond memories.

There will be 4 Happy Chemicals firing off in the brain when this happens: Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. You want to leverage these chemicals and get them firing to build great rapport.

Instead of talking about yourself, you want to ask the other person questions that will leave them feeling good. Even if the conversation was only about what they like doing or who they like to spend time with, they will remember you with a positive association. They will feel good when they remember you.

When meeting people higher up than you, how do you follow up?

Following up doesn’t guarantee that you will succeed. But not following up will always end in failure and missed opportunities. Success is in the follow through.

I use a 1-3-7 Follow Up System.

Ideally, you’ll want to follow up with someone you met within the first day, then the next 3 days to a week. If you wait longer than a week, you will loose momentum and they may forget about you.

It also depends on how high a level you go and what you actually want to do. If you meet a billionaire, it’s going to be very difficult to get their contact.

When I met Elon Musk, I didn’t ask for his number because he’s not going to give it to me. But I did get his email, which was shocking because they usually won’t even give you that. I was able to successfully follow up with him and have him speak and inspire homeless youth at my Monday at the Missions Program.

But to be honest, most people aren’t going to meet billionaires.

Keep it strategic and practical.

It’s really all about knowing who you want to become and what you want to do.

If you want to be a manager at your company, then meet more managers and hang out with them.

If you’re a fresh lawyer, than meet lawyers who have successful law firms in the area you want to be in.

You just need to keep having that mindset of growth.CLICK TO TWEET

Keep meeting people you want to be like. In time, you will be that person.

It’s important to be very specific and focused.

In every career and vertical industry I’ve been in; a senior analyst, a consultant, professional speaker, and now an online entrepreneur. I’ve always looked at people I wanted be like.

Tracked them. Tried to understand them, analyzed them. I reverse engineered their path to success and took the steps that they did.

Do this, model yourself after others, and in time you’ll be successful at doing whatever it is you want.

Any Practical tips for relationship building?

You can use a Weekly Relationship Goal.

I call it the 2 + 2 Weekly Goal of Relationship Building.

Every week, you can reach out to two new friends or people you recently met. You also want to reach out to two old friends to deepen relationships.

It’s an extremely useful system. It’s a unique way to say, “Hi, let’s keep in touch.”

You can use a 1 + 1 or a 2 + 2 weekly goal. Just as long as you stay consistent, you can start to see dramatic results in your relationships.

Thoughts on Mentorship?

I absolutely believe in mentorship.

Behind every great person, was a mentor to guide them.

Alexander the Great had Aristotle, and Albert Einstein was mentored as a child by Max Talmey, a medical student. Max saw the genius in Albert at the age of 10 and met weekly with him for lunch. He gave him his science books, taught him math and philosophy. Max unknowingly changed the world by mentoring Albert. Einstein highly believed that everybody has the potential to be a genius.


I’ve had many mentors, but at the same time, when people ask me to mentor them.  They have to understand that I’m a consultant.

I mentor homeless kids because they need it.

But when adults ask me to mentor them, I’m currently not in the position to do so. Which is why I’ve created my program and written a book about it.

I highly encourage people to find mentors, but don’t ask people that are consultants or paid on their time. Find people that are more on salary or are flexible with their time.

A mentor is like your carpool lane to success. If you don’t have a mentor, you’re stuck in the traffic of life.

Which again, is why people don’t succeed or stay stuck.

When you have mentors, it allows you to see things in a new light and different perspective. You can hear things, see things, and taste things that you wouldn’t know about.

If you must be humble enough to accept and listen to them. You have to remove your ego and learn from somebody else.

Online, now you can learn whatever you want. That’s the beauty of life.

It goes back to having that Growth Mindset.

People say they’ll pursue their passions later.

But why later?  Do it now, you have no excuse!

People can take this as me being rude and forceful. But am I?

Or am I being direct and passionate about what I believe in. Which is that we all have the ability to succeed and to serve others.

I wasn’t raised with the best circumstances or resources. But if I can do it, anybody can do it. If I can learn anybody can learn.

I want to give what I’ve learned to other people, because at the core, my belief is that to purpose of life is to serve others with the gifts that we have. 

Share with people and inspire them.

A mentor is your carpool lane to success. If you don’t have one, you’re stuck in the Traffic of LifeCLICK TO TWEET

So how do you give back?

I started a nonprofit called, Mondays at the Mission. It’s the only homeless youth program of it’s kind in the world. Every week we teach career and life skills to homeless teenagers at our private shelter.

It’s my way of giving back and encouraging people to also give back. Even if you just spend one hour a week, it can make a big impact on someone’s life. The reason there is so much poverty is because, we as a society aren’t doing anything to help them.

People say, I’ll help later on when I’m not busy. Or they complain that they don’t have any time. But on average Americans spend 5 hours a day on TV and 4.7 hours on Social Media.

Everybody has time. They just have to prioritize. Is TV really worth it?

I invest my time in my passion.

I’m passionate about really giving back to others in need. I don’t want to just make money in the world and then pass away. There’s not much meaning in that.

But for me, I’m passionate about leadership for these homeless kids. They need our help the most. We’ve had over 270 speakers from 34 different countries, including people I’ve met, like Elon Musk. We’ve had Grammy and Oscar Winners, Olympians, FBI agents, Navy Seals, and others speak and motivate these kids.

Because everybody should have the chance and opportunity to succeed. These kids don’t have much of a chance or opportunity to even dream as they’re literally just trying to survive.

We want to put things in perspective and help change their mindsets. We want to teach them the mindset they need to be successful. To give them the opportunity to have a vision and preview of Life’s coming attractions. Because imagination is more important than knowledge.

Albert Einstein said,

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

7,000 people a day are passing away and more on their way. How many of them wish they could be in our position. Passing on value to others and hopefully inspiring people.

We all have the ability to serve. We must take the opportunity to give back now, or else you’ll never get around to it.

Finally what’s the best way for people to connect and learn more about you?

They can connect with me on LinkedIn and check out my YouTube Channel and subscribe or email me at chris@christopherkai.com

They can also learn about my coaching program here. They can sign up for my newsletter where I give helpful tips to professionals and small business owners. If they want to gain clients, being a speaker is one of the best ways to get referrals.

That’s why I’m so passionate about what I do because I’ve seen the results and changes happen in my clients lives. It’s very exciting.

Christopher Kai

Christopher Kai is an entrepreneur, international speaker, founder of the Gifted Professional Speaker Program and an Amazon #1 bestselling author of “Big Game Hunting: Networking with Billionaires, Executives and Celebrities.”

He has given over 1,000 presentations to a global audience from 30 countries. His audiences include Fortune 500 companies like American Express, New York Life and Google. He has been featured on Forbes, ABC News, Buzz Feed, Fast Company, Huffington Post.  Inc. Magazine has referred to him as “the billionaire networker.”

He is a former business strategies and communication manager at American Express. Featured in Forbes, his new Gifted Professional Speaker online program helps entrepreneurs become Global Speakers and Next Level Networkers. Positioning yourself as a speaker can give you the best opportunity to find more leads, clients, investors, business partners, and referrals.

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  • Comments (1)
  • Mia Kelley
    Mia Kelley

    I like the Happy Chemicals!

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